November 22, 2012
Thanksgiving 2012 Thankdown

Thanksgiving is a flawed holiday. The mascot is a turkey and its co-mascots are pilgrims. Seriously? Can we get more boring than that? Well, at least they make up for it by having a really cool holiday feature like dressing up and getting candy, waking up and getting a boatload of free shit, or having binge drinking green alcohol be socially acceptable for the day, right? Nope. You get to spend time with extended family, eat overrated seasonal dishes, and watch the Lions. Also the decorations are almost entirely orange and brown. Someone needs to take Thanksgiving back to the drawing board and re-think this whole thing. Maybe add a cage match or something. And replace brown with those fake flames on cars. I dunno. In the meantime, here are the things I’m thankful for this year:

- no longer having a Blackberry

- my decision not to update my iPhone’s iOS to the new “now all your maps are shitty” edition

- Having lived through the year of the GIF

- Adria Gasol’s continued existance

- Young Marc Gasol

- BevMo 5 cent wine sales

- Increasing societal acceptance that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie ever

- Having had a professor that looks like Psy

- Not being in school 

- My beard

- Jon Stewart

- baseball season is over

- Have not yet made the mistake (?) of sleeping with my biographer

- These Laker bros and their subsequent interview that reads like a parody of what other people think of Laker fans

- Red Dawn’s imminent release

- That there is a remake of Red Dawn in 2012 (!)

- That feeling you get right after peeing in the morning when you wake up with a super full bladder

- whiskey

- My preternatural talent at Words With Friends

- That none of my friends have made fun of how bad I am at Scramble With Friends to my face

- That we’re a little over a month away from not having to listen to stupid Mayan references/jokes ever again

Alright, that’s the 2012 Thankdown. Happy Thanksgiving!

  1. rhprocter posted this